Bank Robbery

There was another bank robbery in Methuen today.  According to the Lawrence Eagle Tribune, that makes four in six weeks.

I don’t get it.  Most banking is electronic today.  How much money do branches even have on the premises, and of that, how much is in each teller’s draw?  I can’t imagine it’s a very large amount.  Let’s say this douche went into the credit union branch, waved his symbolic penis gun around and made off with a couple of teller drawers full of cash.  Let’s also ignore little things like die packs and marked bills or whatever banks do these days to keep stolen money from being used.  What does he get out of it?  A couple months rent and something shiny for his best gal?  Is it even possible for a bank robber in the 21st century to make a five figure score?  How big of a bag do you need to carry $10 grand if you’re stealing from a teller?  Would you be better off knocking over a McDonald’s?  How much time does it take for a teller to put $10,000 into a bag?  I’m guessing more time than it takes the police to respond to the alarm.

Then there is the repetition factor to think about.  The Methuen police are already investigating three of these things.  How pissed off are they going to be when they catch you?  Supremely pissed, I would guess.  It won’t be good cop/bad cop when they interrogate you.  It’ll be bad cop/super crazy Mel Gibson in Lethal Weapon cop.  You risk getting thrown off a building like that jumper did in the movie.  Why don’t we be objective.  Think about it… what would Robert DeNiro’s character in Heat have said if some one asked him to be bank robber #4 in one city in six weeks.  There’s no way a professional super thief like that would ever even consider taking a job like that.  No way!  Even if he didn’t have Al Pacino on his trail.

I guess what I’m trying to say here is this:  It’s not worth it.  If desperation drove this guy to do this today, or in any of the other three bank robberies, then the reward of a successful job is going to be tiny compared to the risk, and then inevitable retribution.

It’s a simple matter of balance.  Does a small short term gain balance out a large long term punishment?  Not from where I’m sitting.


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