hockey, Uncategorized

Hockey Wrap Up… Finally

Given that our civilization is dishonoring the sacrifices made by the millions of people who died fighting fascism in the 1930’s and 40’s by smiling pretty as fascism makes a comeback, it seems pretty stupid to talk about hockey. I’m really pissed off though, so I need something to vent on that isn’t going to get me lined up in front of a firing squad when our new fascist overlord, the donald, is elected in November. So hockey it is.

The 2016 playoffs had 15 series. I picked 10 correctly, and got five wrong. That’s a 2/3, or 67% success rate. I picked the Sharks over the Penguins in the finals and picked wrong. Damn it, Sharks. You always end up screwing me over. I hate the Penguins, and now we have to sit through a whole year of Doc Emmerick and Pierre MacGuire talking about how Crosby and co are the reigning champs. Yippee skippee. I hate the effin’ Penguins.

So what’s next? The draft is tonight. That sounds fun, right? It should at least. Does it still sound fun when you find out that Don Sweeney is still in negotiations with Loui Freakin’ Eriksson? Do you feel optimistic about the future when you hear that our Harvard educated, NHL veteran, General Manager is trying to keep J.D. Friggin’ Drew in the fold for another six years at 20 billion dollars?

Over the next two days we will have seven picks:
Round 1:
14
29 (traded from San Jose)
Round 2:
49 (traded from the Islanders)
Round 5:
135
136 (traded from Minnesota)
Round 6:
165
Round 7:
195

It is safe to say that our rocket scientist GM, who thinks we have a good team in place despite missing the playoffs two years in a row (in spectacular choking fashion), will spend these draft picks on players who will have excellent but short careers as minor leaguers who barely if ever even get a sniff at the NHL.

The excitement is so thick you can cut it with a knife!

Three years in a row out of the playoffs, with a bullet!

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